Al-Merica’s Caliph George ibn Bush (flash fiction)

Meanwhile in an alt universe, Caliph of the United States of Al-Merica, George ibn Bush meets with Donald ibn Rumsfled, the Secretary of Defence regarding a new Christian Crusader group.

Editor’s Note: After some consideration, we have changed the content distribution method. We will no longer do a zine format of collected articles, but will post long form stories as their own posts. However, we will continue to collect short form content as compilations. Enjoy more frequent content each week.

---

*meanwhile in the United States of Al-Merica*

Caliph George ibn Bush: “Mashallah, Secretary of Defence, Donald ibn Rumsfeld. what news do you have about the infidel terrorists to the East?”

Donald ibn Rumsfeld: “They call themselves The Knights of the Holy Crusade. A Pan-European organization. They believe themselves to be freedom fighters for the Christian God. In fact, we funded them against the Russian Anarchist Union in the war in Germany in 1979.”

Caliph George ibn Bush: “They have struck a terrible blow against this country, destroying the Twin Mosques holy to our people, by crashing our Satellite Station and killing thousands. We must stop these terrorists by any means.”

Donald ibn Rumsfeld: “It will be difficult to muster the political will. The Twin Mosques being destroyed have angered the people yes, but the Satellite Station was full of criminal volunteers. Not many will shed tears for them.”

The Unseen One: “If I may Mr. Secretary, Lord Caliph, we in the CIA have noted a potential way to muster public support— that is, more than necessary after the tragedy of the Twin Mosques. It is known that the Knights of the Holy Crusade have some connection to President Saddam Hussein.”

Caliph George ibn Bush: “The Manichaean President, the one committing crimes against his own people? Yes. There's opportunities there.”

The Unseen One: “We'll say that he is illegally building Ark Weapons. That he has broken the Interdiction of Solomon using black magic.”

Caliph George ibn Bush: “That's impossible. No one can break the divine spells of a Prophet.”

The Unseen One: “That it is, I was there when it was put into effect by King Solomon himself. The Last Ark of the Covenant has been long destroyed, or is in our direct control or that of the Anarchist Union. However, the public doesn't know that. We can justify this war by saying Hussein plans on using his Ark of the Covenant against ours.”

Donald ibn Rumsfeld: “This is a sound plan, Lord Caliph. With the added benefit of all the oil fields in Iraq.”

Caliph George ibn Bush: “Very well. Set it in motion, Djinn.”

The Unseen One: “I obey” *vanishes in smokeless flames*